Tuesday, October 12, 2010

a VERY long time coming.

#17 you are now crossed off.

Last week I went to go see a therapist. Approximately five years after first getting a referral. I'm a slow burn. If you learn nothing else about me, learn that.

SLOW. BURN.

There are a lot of reasons I decided I could benefit from seeing a therapist. Here are the ones I can say out loud:

  • I listen to traumatized people for a living
  • I have a 13 month old who likes to scream
  • I am human. Humans need therapy.
  • I have feelings. Sometimes they are big. 

There are also a lot of reasons it has taken me five years to finally do this. Here are two of the simplest:

  • I am human. Humans think they don't need therapy.
  • I have Mennonite roots. Just trust me. It is a reason.

The main reason I sat on the couch (yes, there was an actual couch) after five years of thinking about it, is that I finally have the confidence to do so. There is this false impression that people go to therapy when they are weak. Damn. Going to therapy takes a metric ton of confidence. You have to believe that you actually have 50 minutes of thoughts/feelings/ideas that are worth the effort of speaking. And, worth putting someone through the effort of listening to you.  It is exactly because I am at a point in my life where I (mostly) feel comfortable in my skin and confident in who I am and the decisions I make that I am able to seek help from someone else. 

Like I said, 
SLOW. BURN.

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